Parenting Parents

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Today's economics ensures that the average family, more often than not, comprises a married couple, their children and the husband's parent(s), all living together in not-always-companionable equations. For such a unit to not merely survive, but also do the job it was meant to in the first place — serve as an emotional bedrock — all its constituents will have to co-exist in a state of mutual respect. And being respectful does not mean veneration but engaging in a mutually beneficial relationship of openness, honesty, understanding, tolerance and regard for each others' needs, boundaries and limitations. In attempting to relate better to our elders, we often find ourselves at one of two poles: deification or vilification. And until we start actively searching for a middle ground, harmony in our family lives is going to remain elusive.

The key to respecting our elders lies not in ‘serving' them, but in relating to them with dignity as individuals, as companions and as one adult to another. To make this happen in your life, just remember the basic axiom — neither a vilifier nor a deifier be.